6 Steps to a Great Family Service

Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

Family services. Love them or hate them, they have their place. I'm an advocate for family services because I believe children’s ministry needs to be more than a ministry held in another room never to be seen or heard from. These services can be a great tool for emphasizing ministry to the next generation, highlight the great things that are happening, and give your volunteers a much needed week off.

Some churches do them great and others never have them. The churches that I’ve served in have been on both sides of the spectrum and somewhere in between.

Here are 6 Steps to a Great Family Service.

1. Decide why you want to have a family service.

I always like family services for selfish reasons. They make it easy for me to take vacation, sit in service, and give my volunteers a break. Many times, I have things to do in the family service, but I rarely ran the whole thing, which made for a much easier day.

A lot of times finding volunteers on low attended Sundays is tough because so many people are out of town, so a combined adult and kid service makes sense.

At my first church, we did family services on fifth Sundays. The idea here was to expose our kids to the adult worship experience and for families to worship together. Since most children’s ministries are held simultaneously with the adult service, many kids never see their parents worship. 

Whatever your reason, make sure you’re clear and get the entire adult service team on board. Talk to your Senior pastor about what you'd like to see or even better sit in the service planning meeting to cast vision and brainstorm ideas. Even though this may be a day that's generally low attended by the congregation and the staff, you shouldn't phone it in.

The fifth Sunday family services at my first church were canned in less than a year, for two reasons.  One, I didn’t get buy-in from all the staff and lead volunteers, and two, because of my next point.

2. Don’t have an adult service with kids in them.

Many “family services” are just adult services with kids in them. The service plan is the same, they sing the same songs, and the pastor preaches for what can seem like forever. This is usually a recipe for failure. You’ll end up with bored, rowdy kids and frustrated parents.

It doesn’t do the kids any good to be in the service if they’re on their parent’s phone the whole time.

Alternatively, some family services are kids’ services with adults in them. As a kid’s pastor, I like these more, but I know a lot of people don’t. I’ve seen the most successful of these types of services when it’s a special kids take over Sunday. The people who come in know that the kids are being featured and are prepared for the drastic change.

While most family services are just adult services with kids in them, I think you can come up with a hybrid that will cater to adults and kids.

I’m not suggesting something like an FX from Orange or KidStuf from Northpoint, while those could be ideal. I am suggesting certain elements that will serve the whole family and no one is bored.

3. Have kid-friendly service elements

You must acknowledge that kids are in the room more than a quick comment at the beginning of service.

One of the best ways to acknowledge and create the hybrid service mentioned above is to have one or several elements of the service that have been “kidified.” These can be things like

• Have the worship team learn one of the songs you sing in kid’s church.
• Ask the kids worship team (even if that’s just you) to lead everyone in a song, motions and all.
• Have kids help the ushers take up the offering
• Have a well spoken older elementary or middle school student do the announcements
• Let the kids pastor or other kid volunteer do a portion of the sermon or even the whole thing
• Have an object lesson with props. Bonus points for magic.
• Have a special part of the service where the kids hear a Bible story from the kids’ pastor

These are just a few ideas that I’ve seen done well. Brainstorm ideas with the service planning team or your senior pastor and see what they’re comfortable with. One may be enough but having two or three would be better.

4. Acknowledge the noise and the distractions

I served at one church that never did family services. The thinking was that kids are too much of a distraction and you’re going to lose the audience.

While I agree with their reasons, I disagree with their conclusion. I think this obstacle can be at least met if not beaten if you acknowledge the noise and distractions from the beginning, let everyone know what’s going on, and ask for patience and understanding.

The acknowledgement will also lower the awkwardness of doing some of the elements mentioned before. If the adults know what’s going on and are encouraged to engage, the service will go much better.

5. Consider providing nursery and preschool

While I would love all ages to be in the room for a family service, some age groups have harder times than others sitting through a 75-minute service.

At my second church we had regular family services. I had a mom with three children in all three age groups express her frustration.

She said the one she had the hardest time with wasn’t the baby, but the preschooler. The kid wanted to get up and talk and was generally bored. She spent more time trying to keep the kid entertained than engaging in the service herself.

If you’re doing family services on a regular basis, or if the service is going to be longer than an hour, you should have the nursery and preschool open. At minimum a family room should be made available with toys and activities for the kids and the streamed service for the adults.

The exception to this would be Christmas Eve services. The ones I’ve attended are an hour or less, have a quick tempo with a lot of moving parts, and hold everyone’s attention well. Usually, preschoolers do well in this type of service.

6. Give a goodie bag with activities

I’ve done these for years with family services, but I really saw their effectiveness during COVID. Our church reopened to one hour family services for two months before we relaunched children’s ministry.

Before every service I would give out a goodie bag with a note sheet, crayons, a coloring page or other similar activity, and a piece of candy.

Since most of these services at this time were adult services with kids in them, the kids and parents loved them because it kept them engaged throughout the service. Especially the younger ones. After a few weeks, I found my oldest elementary kids didn’t enjoy them as much, but they were able to sit through the service and engage in their own way.

For our Christmas eve services this year, I’ll have the note sheet found on Etsy here, crayons and activity page from Oriental Trading, and a candy cane. The kids love it because there’s candy and activities, and the parents love it because their kids are engaged and can focus on the service.

Having a family service a couple of times a year can be great for your church and ministry. It helps kids see how their parents worship. It emphasizes the importance of the next generation and gives you and your volunteers a much-needed week off. 

However, you need to be intentional with the service plan. Don’t have an adult service with kids in it. Acknowledge the kids and give them something to do. It’ll make a far more enjoyable and impactful service for everyone.

What have you seen work well for your family services? Let me know in the comments!